The things i do not do good enough

*deemed by mother dearest*

if i didn't get an A, i probably didn't try hard enough.
i don't fold things fast enough, or neatly enough, or correctly
i do not clean fast enough, or thoroughly enough, or like how she would.
i do not clean often enough.
i do not socialize enough.
i do not read enough.
i spend too much time online, i should do the latter two more often.
i do not go outside enough.
i do not eat enough sometimes.
i am not fit enough.
i do not dress correctly, up to her standards.
i do not wash my face enough.
i do not tend to my hair correctly, because if i did, i wouldn't have so many split ends.
i do not talk to her enough.
i don't do things with her enough.
i don't study enough.
i don't have enough patients.
i chose the wrong type of glasses.
i don't look good enough, she has to fuss over me for that.
i bite my nails, which she deems disgusting.
i have """social anxiety""" and just need to cope with it, and not be such a baby.
i need to cook better.
i need to be stronger, physically.
i don't open up to her enough.
...
i don't have enough "real" friends.
i am not skinny like she was at my age, my thighs touch and i have some chub, despite her telling me i cannot lose any more weight. not unless i exercise.

i do not draw realistically enough.
i do not try hard enough when i attempt something new.
i do not put away my laundry enough.
i do not do chores enough.
i am not 'girly' enough?
i need to tell her who my crush is because she wants to know "him".
i don't have good enough friends, because they are male.
i do not watch the correct things on T.V..
i do not savor her blessings and gifts to me enough.
i am not grateful enough.
i am not confident enough.
i am not a Type A personality like she wants.
i am not confrontational enough.
i cannot stand up for other or myself well enough.
i do not animate well enough. it needs colour.

i am not smart enough, because she knows everything i need to know.
i am not old enough i truly understand consequences.
i do not write neatly enough.
i do not write correctly, i just need to fix it.
i do not enjoy eating the healthiest of things she gives me (i enjoy some, but not all).
i do not love my family's dogs enough, because i don't like petting them very often.

i need actual hobbies.

• Published January 25, 2020, 08:42
• in Kiddie Pool
• in Vents and or Rants
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