School. (Rant/vent)
i am so mentally exhausted. i am scared, and dreading school so much. i have no motivation to do my homework now, and i do not even really want to cry. i just wish to lie and do nothing. i just want things to be better, and this dread to go away. i am so afraid of what is to come. so very, very afraid. there is no way i can stop it, no matter how much i try, i cannot change it. i just want to not be sick, being sick is what has dug me in so deep, and not have my precious mommy and/or daddy to drive me after school for aid. i just simply have no idea how to work with Scratch, not in the way my teacher wants me to. my head aches just thinking about it, the futility of my efforts painful to think about. i have not a clue of what i am supposed to do, and what i am doing wrong. i wish i did not get sick with a 102F fever and miss most of the week (save part of a day). i am so lost, and so very far under. over my head. so much homework, and makeup work, all because i was feeling awful. sick, ill. no extensions on the assignment, either. none, nada. it is due Monday, and it is final. since i have no idea of what i am supposed to do, the highest grade for the quarter i can expect is a D. a lowly D to ruin all my hard work for a 4.0 GPA. in ruins because of being sick, and not being able to be tutored. i don't think there is any salvation on the internet for me now. none. i am so very screwed. this is my fate. there is no salvation for me. since i cannot complete the assignment, i have not a clue on how, i am getting that D. and i still have yet to even make up the swimming, and now a few badminton lessons, too, for gym. i'm not gonna be able to do it. i am not. no chance in hell. not all this work. not all this stress. i just want to curl up and stop going to school. i want to be homeschooled, even if it would mean personal tortured over this stressful agony. i hate this so very much. i want it to stop, but i don't want to die. i just want the unfairness to go away. i wish i understood what i should do. i wish i never got sick. i wish i didn't have to do this. i wish i could cry some more, and just have the work go away. but it won't. there really is no saving me. i may not be allowed online for awhile if i do get that D, unless my mother is understanding. i hope she doesn't screech like a banchee at my teacher. he is only doing his job, and living to the deadline he made sure people know. i just want to feel better, too, if not physically, mentally.
- Published March 06, 2020, 16:18
- in Kiddie Pool
- in Vents and or Rants
- is not continuable by others
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