Documentation of my lunacy.
Hello. Let us get into it, shall we? At the lowest lows in my life, i experience a sort of detachment. That desperation extends to myself; and the world at large. My paranoid mind begins to believe that the world is a game, that i am a pawn it character in that game, and that my future is pre-determined. No free will. That I am being controlled, or watched by something. That others are, too. Everyday objects appear to be fundamentally wrong, as if they are not supposed to exist. That they were recently placed there. That a scene or situation is wrong. That my actions come too easy, or as if I have to fight to do them. That something is in the back of my mind, tugging ever so softly. I do not know why. Feelings that my survival is a miracle often happen. I have successfully stopped myself from choking five times. Nearly, but did not, fall downstairs multiple times (around three). Feelings of alienation. That i belong nowhere, and that i always stick out. that me being there is wrong, somehow. that reality itself is fuzzy. I am grateful to be alive. However, thinking that some parts of the real world are textures that can glitch is scary..
- Published November 24, 2022, 16:37
- in The Swamp
- in Vents and or Rants
- is not continuable by others
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