i don't belong here. my memories are different from what has happened here. i know they happened differently, unless my family is screwing with me. i know for certain they happened how i remember them. so many small differences, i almost do not notice them. i think i belong to a different now, a different place, a different world. maybe the version of me that should be here would have names her account something else. maybe that girl is a "better" version of me. i wonder if this is why i feel so distant. i don't think i belong here. i think i belong to a different now. i sound insane. i know i sound insane. i should have noticed these sooner. maybe i could have gone back. i can't go back now. i am stuck here, in this now. i am stuck here. i like it here, but everything feels so distant. i don't think i belong here. maybe things here are better, but i do not belong here. i remember things that didn't happen, i remember things differently, i remember false memories. i do not belong to this world, i think. i belong somewhere else. i remember people differently. things are different. some things never even happened here, everything is so subtly different. different, so strange, but all so very familiar. maybe i feel so strange is because i am trying to be her. the phantom girl who is supposed to be here. the girl that is supposed to be here, that is just like be, but very distinctly is not me. i do not belong here. i sound insane. maybe this is why i have a stutter, why my accent is thicker than my family. my "family." my very similar family.