hoorah, a vent. +vent ort
What does death feel like? i am awful curious. Not because i wish death upon myself, but out of a morbid curiosity. No, i do not understand why i am thinking of such a topic. Why i am thinking such thoughts, for i desire to live life and find love like most do. Why i have been catching myself trying to touch something such as a hot crock-pot lid. To touch a lit candle. To do such awful, dreadful, pain causing things to myself. Why i have been thinking so hollowly of life itself. Just a few moments ago i felt happy, but now i no longer do. I feel apathy, or something near it. What is bringing me to desire such things, such as the thoughts of death, and self inflicted pain? Control, or perhaps an escape of sorts? From what, why, do not ask me, for i do not know the answer. How fragile my life is, and how unreachable my desires are. How much i do ever so pine for them anyways. Hollow is life, i suppose. We are all borne from stars, and die to become soil. Parry me this; how does one get over oneself? i carry a label, nay, plural to describe myself. Diffident, queer, distant, outed. Pathetic, dense, poltroon. negative, negative, oh so negative, i know. maybe, just maybe there will be a day where i have all my desires, but something tells me it is a hopeless endeavor. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/455947608347639810/659598222972420109/Death.png
- Published December 25, 2019, 21:06
- in Kiddie Pool
- in Vents and or Rants
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