The year of 2020, for me.
The turning of the year, and then the decade. How spectacular is that? A whole new, wonderful decade to live, and to be alive. The world is changing, along with life itself. i know my life has changed this decade, most importantly as well, i am only fourteen, and before this decade i was someone who shat myself, and stuck tweezers into outlets. i have discovered things about myself, and about others, met people that i will forever remember, even if i only did meet them online. Gone through hell, and fuck, still kind of going through it. Hormones, and the United Stated Education System is something, alright. Growing up, and becoming the person i am today, within this decade, too. nothing is perfect, though i wish all of you reading this a happy new year. from a sincere nobody that you'll never meet in person, or probably see outside of this place called the internet, the world wide web. i hope you, and your friends, are well, safe, and happy. i may not be particularly happy, on top of being rather tired, but i suppose that doesn't matter much, does it? i am a stranger after all, which only a handful of people know. in this decade, very recently, actually, i figured out, via convincing, that being open about my feelings is alright. that adults can be wrong. how i cope with things does, quite honestly, often suck, and are unhealthy. i have experienced falling-outs, unhealthy friendships, and the backlash of being cut off from an unhealthy friendship, and how i have grown from it. the negative things that have been caused by it. the faults in my childhood that may or may not be normal compared to other people's. i have started to figure out what i enjoy, and what i would like to do with my life. who i want to impress, and who i truly care about. what i do not enjoy, and how i cannot change most of those things. the stress of school, and the shyness of having a crush on somebody. i know most of you reading this do not care about these revelations, but, i find it therapeutic to write these out. thank you for reading this far, if i did catch your interest. i know how i write is sometimes,, abrasive, or wordy. maybe even both. but, in this decade, i have made friends. not a lot, but a few that mean something. learned how i have issues with people due to how sheltered, and isolated my upbringing is. issues with allowing myself the privilege to cry. seen how awful people can be online, and how dumb people can be. discovered confidence issues, and a sense of social anxiety, and the piss-poor method my mother suggested i do to cope with it, "because everybody feels like that!" no mother, i do not thing everybody shakes like they are in a bikini during norther winter in a new place crowded with unfamiliar people, and i do not believe people fucking cry when they are overwhelmed by that feeling. haha. no. good morning, evening, or afternoon, whomever read this far into my rambling.
- Published December 31, 2019, 11:57
- in Kiddie Pool
- in Vents and or Rants
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