i suppose i feel so sad, because i am lonely. i do, and do not, want a partner. i do not think i am ready for such a relationship, and,,, things are more complicated,, because,, no one around me really knows. so,, my heart still aches. it is kind of hard to breathe...hum. i am not envious, nor jealous,, just...sad. sorrowful. this is honestly kind of pathetic,, but,, i,..i feel sad over seeing people scream love for each other,, constantly around me,,? it should not make me feel this sad, and hollow, but it does. i am sorry. i,, just,, i am also kind of scared of,, opening up enough to tell those around me about that,, one small thing. ugh.