//vent // any advice?
How do i become more of an individual? i ask myself this almost every day. how do i make myself more interesting? more conversational, more depthful? i know the answer. i must,,, look into something. reach out to those who possess the thing i am looking in to, however i do not know what to look in to. i have no passions that drive me to look into something long enough. i do not know what i could look into to make myself a better, more easy to talk to individual. i am simply a bystander. a dull, boring individual who has a small pool of personal experiences. the one thing i can usually talk about is emotion. but even then, i do not know much about it. i am losing touch with those i am close to, just from my lack of depth and interesting qualities. i am a dull, boring individual that needs to become interesting, for my own sake. i just need to find out what to get into. i want to be close to my friends, but i have exhausted all of the topics i can talk about from memory. i need to push myself to learn more things, to learn about what my friends enjoy, however,,, it is so hard during school. i lose myself in the feeling of being so busy. i want to have depth. to talk to my friends again. but i have nothing to add to the conversation anymore. only my sad, miserable personal life. please, if you have advice, tell me. i beg you. please tell me how to become,,, interesting. what i should look in to, what i should learn. how i should learn it. should i ask my friends about what they like? i already do that, but...i do not know about any games, really. not enough to talk about them. i am trying to find the time to watch a let's play of a game my friend really likes, i just,,, do not have the mental energy or time. i just,, i want to so badly. i want to be close again. i want to be a good, interesting friend so badly...i feel so terribly. i do not know what i can possibly do, other than be just...present. only and just that. i want to connect with my friends again,,, but i feel so distant. it is so scary. i do not want to lose them.
- Published May 30, 2021, 18:55
- in The Swamp
- in Vents and or Rants
- is not continuable by others
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