uninspired. (vent).
as of late, almost a few months now. i have been utterly uninspired. i am sorry for those who enjoy my works, but i have been both mentally, and emotionally exhausted for awhile. i am expected to grow up quite quickly, and my mom does not seem to understand her entitlement. she made my sister cry yesterday after being ungrateful for her participation in chores. my mom thinks any bit of dust on something is disgusting, or at least showing of a lazy person. everything must be spotless 100% of the time, after all. no, no, only her way is right. it is exhausting. how she just tears into us for pretty much no reason. for example,, when we leave out a few glasses. it is profoundly stupid. she yells at us for asking her, when she gets home, if she is cooking something for dinner since she has plans sometimes. and gets butthurt when her plan is not seen through. she plays so many mental gymnastics, she should be in the fucking Olympics. sorry for my profanity. just,, i do not see her issues. her entitlement. even our dad is a bit messy, it is only my mom who is,, insistent on everything being spotless. how i need to be ready to be self sufficient, and used my brother's failure as an example. and,, how few people can do it. she is so barbed and catty. she gets so butthurt so quickly, and is just mean with remarks. most people, like my sister, do not realize the remarks, but i have started to. she called me, or suggested it, that i looked like a meth whore due to me wearing a neon hoodie and burgundy leggings. what kind of fucking mature adult does that to their child?? call them a whore? she has called my sister a skank (slang for a prostitute) for wanting to wear glitter-y makeup. my mom complained of how she can buy us things, but not a clean house. so buthurt, and in a guilting, and condecending matter, told us it was not her sole responsibility to get things done around the house. and she is damn fucking right. i don't clean much, because i am not a neat-freak like her. but, my sister is more sensitive, and my mother can guilt her HARD. i hope my sister sees reason. my mom is quite exhausting to be around. she is mean, even when she is being nice, if that makes sense. she wants me to work already, at fifteen, even though i do not have to. she is so insistant. she just wants me to get money so,, she cannot be blamed for saving some money for a college fund. i gotta make my own college fund, i suppose. she even stated that. boy am i excited for life-crushing student debt from wanting to be a psychiatrist. looking at half a million worth of student debt, there, oh boy. she must think it is still the early two thousands or late nineties, when she was in school and it was less expensive. she thinks i will be able to work though the debt quickly. i am sorry if i sound like a brat, though i would have rather had all the money she has spent on clothes for me gone for my future.
- Published June 04, 2020, 14:44
- in Kiddie Pool
- in Vents and or Rants
- is not continuable by others
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