Alarms.

most days, my mother has to wake up very early to go to work, which is okay. but she snoozes her alarm for,, almost fourty minutes each day. it is ruining my sleep schedule. i am so frustrated with it, and on top of my life..? i hate it. i don't want to die, but i just wanna be saved from this. i wanna hide from this, to just be brought off somewhere and life a fantasy of a life. not this. not constantly being tired at school on days my mother works. dreading falling asleep since i know i will be woken up by her alarming for at least at hour, since sometimes it can take hours for me to fall asleep. no matter how hard i try, or what i do. it doesn't seem to matter. i just sleep poorly most days.

Reguardless if i: read
strain myself during gym class
take a hot shower
put on background noise, of varying types
try to sleep in silence
light pyjamas, thick pyjamas
one blanket, just a sheet, three or four blankets
heating mat, no heating mat
adjusting my pillows, tossing and turning
brushing my teeth, not brushing my teeth
washing my face, not washing my face...
watching videos, not watching videos
taking melatonin, not taking it...

it just doesn't seem to matter. at all.

• Published March 02, 2020, 15:28
• in Kiddie Pool
• in Vents and or Rants
• is not continuable by others
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