"Hello?"
Yes, hello, have you made any conclusions? "no, i haven't." You should have gotten at least one by now. "i'm sorry." Do you know why you aren't confident? "mother?" . . . "myself?" . . . "..." Do you know why you are battling a fools game? "what game?" Ah, wonderful, you don't know. "what do you mean?" Nothing you need to know. "Okay." Do you know why mother teases you? "i don't have enough friends." No, you do not have enough real friends. "don't online ones count?" No, she believes they are predators. "doesn't my friend count?" Partially, but he is male, which makes mother unhappy. "yeah.." Do you know why she doesn't seem to be proud of the things you do? "because they aren't good enough." In her eyes. Do you know why you are afraid of going outside? "mother." Correct. What does the outside hold? "Druggies ready to inject me with drugs, people wanting to abduct me and sell me for icky deeds." ...No. But it is her word. Do you know why mother doesn't want you to have friends? "No." They could slip things into your drink and abuse you. "Oh. yeah she told me that." Why don't you go outside like she asks of you? "it's scary." Why don't you do things her way, isn't it better? "no. her way sucks. i can't do things her way because i am me." Correct. Why does mother say you do not love her? "because i don't do things with her or enjoy her teasing or jokes." Perhaps. Why does mother criticize everything you do? "i don't know, maybe she wants me to be like her." Perhaps. Why does mother ridicule you? "i do not know. maybe she is hiding something, like insecurity of her image, so much so that she wants to change mine?" I think so. Why does mother not seem happy with you? "you asked this one." No, I did not. Please answer. "i don't do things her way." Correct. Why don't you tell mother about your crushes? "because she would tease me and it would hurt more." Why are you afraid to tell mother you are attracted to girls? "because she would tease me and it would hurt more." Alright. Why do you not open up to her? "it's like talking to a wall, there isn't any point because she would dismiss it." Alright. Why haven't you been trying to stand up for yourself? "i have, it just hasn't been working 'cause i am too afraid of her. she doesn't listen." Alright. Why do you fear her? "Her yelling at me hurts my heart, and her punishments suck." No, why do you fear her? "because she could take away my outlet, and my connection to most of my friends and be proud about it, saying i should read more." Correct. Why are you typing this? "i don't know." Yes you do, answer the question. "for attention?" Contribute more. "to help cope?" Perhaps that is why you are having this conversation with me, yourself. "maybe. does that make me bonkers?" Perhaps.
- Published January 25, 2020, 14:27
- in Kiddie Pool
- in Vents and or Rants
- is not continuable by others
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