The Day I Wanted to Jump
We all have had hard times. I don't think there is anyone who hasn't. I had many throughout my life. I still do, but they are nothing compared to that day. I believe that that day was one of my worst days. I was anxious, I was mad, I was stressed, I was tired, I was so tired. All I wanted to do was to leave that place, that horrible place. Even though my family was there, I felt alone. The only person that heard me, at least the surface problem, was a lawyer. This problem has been going on since I can remember. I wanted it to be over but, to this day, is still going. I was so devastated and then a thought came to mind. I was standing next to a window, an open window, I looked down, I was on the 14th floor. That fall was fatal. No one was looking, I was by myself. I thought that all of my problems would disappear. I was so convinced, so confident, so committed to doing it. All I had to do was to jump... Of course, I didn't. I wouldn't have been here writing this if I had. No one helped me, the only thing that kept me from doing it was my pride. I've never talked about it to anyone, no one ever asked either. Everyone saw me as a happy person, so it was impossible for me to be sad, right? I got over it, but my wrists still hurt. I never got help, I didn't want it either. Slowly, those thoughts started to go away. No one ever knew about anything, no one ever noticed, no one ever asked. I still have bad days, but I don't even care anymore, I don't get angry or sad or annoyed, I just don't care. I feel cold. I don't cry in situations where I should. I don't get angry when bad things happen. I don't get happy when I should, I just put on my fake smile and laugh. It feels good to finally talk about it, at least no one from my family will get to see this. School makes me happy, it's like an eight hour escape from reality, those are some of the times when I am truly happy. As today, I’m okay, no need to worry, I managed to escape those feelings. I feel okay, I feel good. I feel fine. Life is fine. Fine as wine.
- Published November 13, 2020, 16:39
- in Kiddie Pool
- in Good artz
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