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first breakup. or break at least. I've had a really good past 8 months, but a really bad past month. a culmination of lack of communication and bad communication kind of fucked things up through last month and early this month. I was in a panic mode at times last month that I've never been in before, and am pretty sure I'll never be in again. I feel much more okay than I thought I would. Like if this happened a month ago I would've spiraled and done irrational things. It's a rocky process, but I think I'm starting to get better at controlling negative thoughts and impulses. Communication is hard for me, but I am working on this right now. I don't have the energy/am not up for anything romantic at the moment, so it's probably a good time for a break. Still gonna be there for each other as friends, but we won't go too far. I'm good at refraining from doing things (almost to my detriment) but in this case it'll help. I know better than to overstep. All in all I did mess up a lot, but uncertainty and anxiety did contribute. Now it's time for me to keep living and keep improving. Honestly I'm happy that someone out there did care about me/love me (and still does in a way). I definitely need time though. used to use this site years ago so I thought I'd ramble here anonymously. If you're reading this, have a wonderful day.
- Published November 11, 2026, 16:01
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