I have been wondering for the past few hours why I feel envy over people loving each other. I think it's because I don't think I know how to feel that emotion. I have had really good friends and good friends but every time I tried to get into a relationship I feel im pushing myself and I don't think I ever really felt love. Every time I hear the word love I don't feel anything and the concept of love feels strange for me. Like, what does love feel like? I don't know. I hate that feeling. And now im crying to goodbye to a world by porter robinson, great, just great. Anyways, I'm not doing well currently.