@Roseken : If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
me: That one is simple, the answer is Testi-
I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory, Is this where it gets me? On this text format, several words ahead of me? I see it coming do I run, or fire my gun, or let it be? There is no beat, no melody. Ken, one of my best friends, now my enemy. Maybe the last face i'll ever see. If I throw away my shot, is this how you remember me? What if this word is my legacy. Legacy, what is a legacy? It's planting seeds in a garden you never get to see. I wrote some words at the beginning of a post someone will read to me, Drawn you great unfinished symphony, you sent for me you let me make a difference, where even 7th graders can leave their fingerprints and rise up. I'm running out of time, I'm running, and my time's up Wise up, eyes up. I catch a glimpse of the other side, The Red eye society leads a chorus on the other side, Nightblade is on the other side, He's with HxUsagi on the other side. Clayton is watching from the other side, teach me how to say goodbye, Rise up, Rise up, Rise up, J_M! My friend, take your time, I'll see you on the other side. Raise a glass to freedom...
cles
_J_M_
@sugr!kube same tbh- I just know when I’m starting to get to itThuprilz
@_J_M_ yeah, i should probbaly focus on thatme with my funky little brain has kinda been viewing my future as a "il deal with it when i get to it" thing and just being lazy all the time lol
_J_M_
@sugr!kube legit. I have those same thoughts. And my drive to live is literally my future love life. But I’d still say make your own drive.Thuprilz
@_J_M_ see, you see, thats fun and all but see the thing i sjstsutshgs its less :what is the purpose of life rather than I will Cease To Existits selfish but it worries me less that i will be forgotten or the people i know will never see me again than it worries me that IM GONNA STOP THINKING
its so scary and im still living life as i usually do, nothing really has changed, but im constantly aware that im not gonna be a kid forever and im completely unable to do anything to slow my aging process
see the worst thing is is that im almost HOPING ill die soon, in my sleep, or suddenly shot by someone or something, just so i dont have to watch myself grow old and decompose and lose life. i wanna die at the peak of my life so i dont have to have regrets and live each day wondering if its my last one
so basiclaly its not really deeper stuff like that, its just about me not being able to comprehend me not existing
_J_M_
@sugr!kube I’ve had an answer to the question of “If life has no objective meaning, then why do anything?” My answer is always this “Give life your own meaning. Make it matter to you.”Frøsty
Are you okay..? :(Thuprilz
its not bad enough that it impacts my daily life, like i still perform the way i always haveit just
really hits me at times and it takes me a minute to focus on not like, throwing up
Thuprilz
pee pee poo pooThuprilz
i cant evn make "i wanna die" jokes anymore bc it makes me think about itumm
Thuprilz
im goThuprilz
dudeThuprilz
its been a back and forth between "nothing matters why should i do anything when ill only die in the end" and having an intense drive to continue living and reach my goals.its weird, like, i have stuff i want to do, and i WANT to do it, and i DO do it, but as im doing these things and reaching goals and TRYING i think to myself whats the point. but i dont really, yknow, mean that