Story/lesson???
not to get personal or anything- we all know when I do it goes to flames lmao. But, this is very important to me and I'd like to share a thought this gave me. So, yesterday I went to some kind of gardening class for two hours with my mom, and it was pretty useful because I'm hoping to have my own gardening system to grow my own food- okay, not the important part, but it was useful information and helpful. Before we left yesterday, mom said the specific part of the state we were going to was 20 minutes away from another part of the state that someone we knew grew up in. I never said anything, but I did make posts saying something came up and I wasn't feeling so great and that was because someone important was going through the shittiest thing then they were gone. I loved this person, their family loved them, but their family didn't tell us shit so mom had to find it on the internet two/three weeks after and she had to carry that until she told me and my world broke. I don't think I ever said this here, but I took piano for a long time, and the person was my piano teacher ( and it's fine, they were grieving, but we didn't have social media to find out or go to the thing...). She passed away almost two years ago and I still can't walk this world without thinking and hoping this was just some long ass nightmare I still can't wake from, but no. It's real. We visited her grave yesterday and my mom and I have never done something like that- it's not that we don't care, but we have no time... but I've constantly brought this up because I wanted to say hi. So, I you know- cried yesterday when we saw her, and so did my mom. There was proof that it wasn't a nightmare... just real-life proof. The thought it gave me was things happen, and even though it sounds harsh, you have to live life and appreciate every second you'll never know what will happen. I plan to visit every year, and I'll make sure to bring her flowers or even piano music I write because she taught me so much and I loved her and the opportunity I was given to learn from her. It's hard. My piano teacher just always brought the shy and quirky version out of me, but she didn't care who I was. So... I'm not going to be posting for a while, so I can process everything again and I'm going to be an emotional rollercoaster for who knows how long again.. so, I'll post sometime, but not for a while. Appreciate life, don't assume people are shitty because of one mistake and really get to know them and appreciate the time you have/the time you have with that someone..
- Published March 05, 2023, 08:02
- in The Swamp
- in Thoughts - 26
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