sleep deprived

 

(vent ahead) god, its like every time i think more about my mom, find out more about my mom, and talk more about my mom, the more i hate her. i love her but i hate her so goddamn much sometimes. She tried drowning me when i was 2 she chose drugs over her children she doesn't care about the risks im constantly putting myself in (im surprised i havent been raped, or killed. I dont take care of myself and i dont really have a gauge on whats a good risk and whats a bad one.) she told me i cant go through hormone therapy when im 17 until i have sex with both genders. im 16, and the age of consent here is 18. and i found out about some of the outright lies she told about me to my aunt today. she lies about how long she grounds me, and pretends the conversations ive had with her about how im gonna do bad things dont exist. i cant, take care of myself. not like this. im going to end up dying of an overdose or falling through the roof of an abandoned building because i cant gauge risks and i cant parent myself. i didnt realize how bad this was until i talked about it with someone else in my family. apparently shes consistently like this with everyone and im not fucking crazy like she thinks i am. im just glad she was confronted by my aunt recently, because i was about to be sent to a mental hospital (with really bad reviews) for having bought $100 worth of sex toys. my mom denies ever letting me buy them even though she was sober when i told her exactly what i was buying with my commission money. Call cps? siblings get separated and put in foster care and become miserable. dont do anything? put myself in a situation where i dont know when im at risk, and probably get raped or get stds or get hurt. guess i cant win

  • Published February 17, 2020, 01:44
  • in Kiddie Pool
  • in album Featured
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