did i just like, stop mattering to other people all of a sudden. its like i dont even fucking exist anymore i swear the only reason i havent fucking stabbed myself yet is because of my mom. i love her too much to do that to her. everything else in this world is complete fucking bullshit i dont wanna fucking be here. i cant deal with this by myself anymore i just wanna fucking rip my arms apart with a knife or something. i want to repeatedly stab myself. throw myself into oncoming traffic. down a hand full of painkillers. you name it. literally anything that will end my stupid worthless ass being alive isnt worth it anymore. nothing matters