Wandering - Wondering
It was late in the night, listening to music like a drug and taking the effects of it like one. I began dissociating - staring into nowhere, allowing my thoughts wander around with my mouth half open like a fool. The night before it, [he] was doing the opposite. Listening to loud music, drowning his thoughts, trying to stimulate that poor soul who was deeply injuried and never healed. But there I was, enjoying some calm music that harmed my ears with barely any volume. I was afraid of seeing what was inside that brain of us, but a voice told me to let me be. I did that. Got onto a comfy position, laid my body weight on a pillow, and allowed my thoughts to linger around. It was the best thing I had ever done. I heard their voices and their thoughts, and decided to join the conversation. We talked about how we felt. A sound of the song that was playing - Winter 20 - suddenly reminded me of something very weird: my friend’s house. That's when I remember, there's life outside those 4 walls I live in. But what's inside those walls isn't alive, just surviving, like a wild animal. I wasn’t alive. I'm not alive. Neither of us are, and we knew this a long time ago. What are we living for? Even if we do extra things such as learning new languages or how to play instruments, we're still empty in the inside. We began wondering what could we do to feel alive, and I thought about running away and fending for ourselves. They agreed. But that won't happen, not in this world. Whatever we do, it all belongs to someone else: studying, working, resting, it's all for the money. We can't live without it, even if we wished to. We belong to the lustful souls of society. Dreaming is free. But the truth that we will never do whatever we want isn't; we’ll end up disappointed by reality. After a few hours, I got out of my trance. They went quiet. I changed the song to something else and laid down, thinking what to do without internet, going through the same three applications from my phone with the blinding light. We ended up falling asleep out of nowhere, but we're thankful, the next day was a tiring day. We're trying to go on the same trance from that night again, but we quite can't. We want to sleep, so that's what we’ll do. Goodbye, hopeless dreamer. [Written by Souris!]
- Published April 28, 2024, 23:47
- in Kiddie Pool
- in 6_𝘜𝘯𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥
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