Feel like throwing up. Straight up didn't make food til 2 p.m. then jus'.. ugh. Took two bites, then stopped eating cuz my body rejected it. So, time passes by. It's dinner time, and I force myself to eat thinking I'm fine now. Nope. As soon as I finished, I felt sick. I couldn't stand in the shower either without this feeling urging me to gag. I'm afraid to brush my teeth because I know I'll gag. I'm also afraid to lay in bed, not knowing if or when I'll have to run to the bathroom so I don't get vomit everywhere... this nausea hurts. And sucks. I also want to cry because it hurts. And I want to cry over so much more... I failed at the one thing I promised myself: stop having low self-esteem. Stop being negative. Have self love. And stop crying over tiny little things. That's not what you're to do. But I do it anyways. I failed myself as a trans male. And a human being in general. Pat on the fucking back for this.