nno

FreezingFlames

╠═══╣Lets build a ladder╠═══╣
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FreezingFlames

sorry, Amanai. I’m not even angry over you right now. I bear no grudges against anyone. it’s just that the world feels so, so wonderful right now. “throughout heaven and earth i alone am the honoured one.” the merit of having a technique that’s passed down for generations. is having a user’s manual the demerit is that information about the technique is easily leaked. you were a member of the zen’in clan, weren’t you? that’s why you know so much about the limitless technique. however, even in the Gojo clan, only a scant few know about this. take the amplified and the reversal. then smash those two different expression of infinity to create and push out imaginary mass. imaginary technique: Purple.

FreezingFlames

Mark, you don’t understand, Zero Build is for inferior species. Viltrumites play Build mode, because it requires more challenge, and that is what defines us as Viltrumites, Mark. You can’t keep going back to playing zero build or hell even squad fills. I get it Mark, you have no friends other than William, but in order to mature and grow up, you need to play Build mode. And here you are nagging to me almost everyday about a girlfriend. Think, Mark! How will you be able to pull if you spend all your days playing fucking Zero Build? The chavs aren’t going to date a guy who spends their whole day, 24 hours, 7 days per week, 30 days per month, 365 days per year, playing Bootleg PUBG? If it weren’t for your mother Mark, then that PS5 would be defecated on, dipped in acid, obliterated, shat on, whatever.

You tell me that you get good grades, and is likeable in school, well that’s a lie, son. Women, like your mother Debora, don’t like Nice Guys. I had to jump on my knees and beg for another date Mark, I nagged her until she gave me a second date, mark. yet here you are, playing Zero Build, instead of being out there, trying to pull the biggest chicks. The real problem is Mark, is that you’re not using your brain like a true Viltrumite. Viltrumites, like me, play Build Mode, which is how I pulled your mother, Mark.

lnferior species, like humans, are attracted to PROFESSIONAL Viltrumite Gamers, Mark. Twitch TV streamers were the real ones, Mark. They pulled all the tings. Fortnite Zero Build was an elaborate plot, by the GDA, undercover as Epic Games, to prevent Insecure, wannabe Future viltrumite gamers like you, to be able to pull, and therefore reproduce in order to continue the viltrumite race. You have doomed your bloodline, Mark. So maybe this time you’ll learn.

FreezingFlames

If we’re being honest, I think Isabelle will have better frame data than villager, and her attacks MIGHT be like .1% stronger, as that is a standard notation in the game now. I think the .1% will matter when the game comes out in the meta-game membrane. In my personal opinion, some of the new characters have very strong capability for alternate skins. Isabelle actually wears glasses at home, opting for contacts at work. Ridley has undergone several rebirths, choosing cybernetic augmentation to aid his fight against Samus. Once, he sent a robot Ridley to fight her while he was still healing. King K. Rool has had several identities, K. Rool himself, Kaptain K. Rool, Baron von Rool, and, like in the case of Ridely, a robot, by the name of KAOS. K. Rool even put on a boxer’s leotard and boots in the final fight of DK 64 too! K. Rool is also seen to still have relics of the times he’s been in disguise, shown in his character demo for his trailer by his specials. That being said, some of the kill moves for old characters might be reworked. Like DK’s ding-dong, or R.O.B.’s beep-boop. I loooove animal crossing, and am glad that they added Isabelle, but I want Waluigi, or Skull Kid. I think both could happen, because it seems as though Sakurai is rounding out the roster, giving us characters from IP’s that we have little of. Ridley was a Metroid addition, which we’ve only had one of for the longest time, same for K Rool with both kongs having a similar playstyle, and Wario has only had one character since brawl. I think Skull Kid is a longshot, but it’d be nice to see him, or some other link, with mask capabilities from Majora’s Mask.

FreezingFlames

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(Smile)

Howdy!
It’s me FLOWEY.

FLOWEY the FLOWER!

I owe you a HUGE thanks.

You really did a number on that old fool.

Without you, I NEVER could have gotten past him.

(Alive Asgore)

But now, with YOUR help…

(Dead Asgore)

(Shaking text)

He’s DEAD.

(Evil Grin)

And I’VE got the human SOULS!

(Fades to black)

(Evil laugh)

(Happy)

(Normal Text)

Boy!

I’ve been empty for so long…

(Smile staring to right)

It feels great to have a SOUL inside me again.

(Winky face with tongue out)

Mmmm, I can feel them wriggling…

(Smile with eyebrows up)

Awww, you’re feeling left out, aren’t you?

(Winky face with tongue out)

Well, that’s just perfect.

(Smile)

After all, I only have six souls.

(Winky face with tongue out)

I still need one more…

(Evil crooked smile with black eyes and white inside)

(Shaking text)
Before I become GOD.

(Evil grin)

And then, with my newfound powers…

(Goat monster)

Monsters.

(Human face with closed eyes)

Humans.

(3 Spinning circles)

Everyone.

(Black face with white line eyes and long smile)

I’ll show them all the REAL meaning of this world.

(Static)

(Black)

(Lower pitched evil laugh)

(Static)

(Smile)

(Normal text)

Oh, and forget about escaping to your old SAVE FILE.

(Evil crooked smile with black eyes and white inside)

(Shaking text)

It’s gone FOREVER.

(Smile staring to right)

(Normal text)

But don’t worry.

(Smile)

Your old friend FLOWEY…

(Winky face with tongue out)

Has worked out a replacement for you!

(Massive teeth baring smile with black eyes and white inside)

(Shaking text)

I’ll SAVE over your own death.

(Massive teeth baring smile and tongue out with black eyes and white inside)

So you can watch me tear you to bloody pieces…

(Massive teeth baring smile and tongue out with black eyes and a large amount of white inside)

Over, and over, and over…

(Massive teeth baring smile and tongue out with black eyes and white line streaks inside)

… what?

Do you really think you can stop ME?

(Close eyed smile)

(Normal text)

Hee hee hee…

(Worried eyed smile)

(Slow typing text)

You really ARE an idiot.

(Black screen)

(Human becomes heart)

(Heart lowers to the near bottom of screen)

(6 souls appear left to right, bottom to top, light blue, orange, blue, pink, green, and yellow)

(6 souls spread out)

(Souls disappear)

(Red flashes)

(Omega Flowey lowers from the top, arms close to the edge of the screen)

(Stops lowering when arms are nearly at the bottom of the screen

(Omega Flowey’s screen smiles)

(Omega Flowey’s screen smiles larger)

(Omega Flowey’s screen smiles with its large mouth and red eyes with green)

(Omega Flowey is now in color)

(Omega Flowey’s screen smiles larger)

(Evil laugh)

(File saves)

(Battle starts)

FreezingFlames

Thou mayest refer to me as Yoshikage Kira. . I am 33 years of age. Mine own house is in the n’rtheast section of m’rioh, whither all the villas art, and i am yet to marry. I worketh as an employee f’r the kame yu department stores, and i receiveth home ev’ry day by 8 pm at the latest. I smoketh not, but i occasionally drinketh. I’m in sleep chamber by 11 pm, and maketh sure i receiveth eight hours of slumber, nay matt’r what. Aft’r having a glass of warmeth milke and doing near twenty minutes of stretches bef’re going to sleep chamber, i usually has’t nay problems sleeping ’til the morning. Comparable to a baby, i waketh up without any fatigue ‘r stress in the m’rning. I wast toldeth th’re w’re nay issues at mine own lasteth check-up. I’m trying to explaineth to thou that ‘am a p’rson who desires to liveth a life of solitude. I taketh careth not to troubleth myself with any enemies, liketh winning and losing, yond wouldst causeth me to loseth mine slumber at night. Yond is how i dealeth with society, and i knoweth yond is what endues me happiness. Although, if ‘t be true i w’re to square i wouldn’t loseth to anyone

FreezingFlames

Ｖｏｃａｌ ｐｅｒｃｕｓｓｉｏｎ

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⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠻⣿⢿⢖⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄

​ｏｎ ａ ｗｈｏｌｅ ‘ｎｏｔｈａ ｌｅｖｅｌ

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣴⣧⣤⣴⡖⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠘⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢤⣴⣦⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿⡟⢿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠈⢀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠋⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⠿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⣷⣿⣿⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠛⠟⢿⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄


​Ｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｆｒｏｍ ｍｙ ｍｉｎｄ

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⣠⣶⣶⣷⣿⣶⡊⠄⠄⣀⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣶⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡍⠁⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣡⣶⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣴⣦⡤⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣿⣿⡯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⡏⠉⠙⠛⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⡧⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣻⠟⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⠍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣷⡤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄

Ａａｈ－ａｈａｈ！ Ｉ ｗａｎｔ Ｇｏｌｄｅｎ Ｗｉｎｄ

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢉⣻⣿⡇⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⡉⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣴⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡠⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⡀⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⢿⣿⣥⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣷⣿⣃⡀⢴⣿⣿⡿⣿⣍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄

ｋｏｎｏ ｍｅ ａｍａｒｅｒｉ ｍａｒｏｒｅｒｉ ｍａｒａｒｅ ｍａｒｏ

FreezingFlames

Players can get some of the earliest glimpses into the pizzeria’s history through the minigames in each of the main titles. Before being called Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, the first restaurant was called Fredbear’s Family Diner. Two men opened the original restaurant and its several rebrandings as co-owners: William Afton and Henry Emily.

Their restaurant’s concept was to create a special place for children’s birthday parties. While mostly serving pizza and cake, the thing that made this restaurant chain special was their “animatronic” wait staff and entertainment. Originally, they were unable to create animatronics. So, instead, they crafted two spring-lock suits that they or their staff could wear to appear as animatronics or place on a stage to perform. Their names were Springbonnie and Fredbear. The concept for the business did so well that they ended up creating a second location: Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza.

Within this new location, four new animatronics were created and adored. They were Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy. William Afton would use his success and the spring-lock suits to act on his cruel and abusive thoughts toward the children who flocked to his restaurant, specifically the five children at the birthday party that he murdered after luring them into the backrooms with the spring-lock Bonnie suit.

To cover up his sick actions, he made all of the suits fully automated but still hollow enough for children to fit inside. Once they were all automated, he placed the children’s bodies within them to discard the evidence—placing the children’s souls within each of the animatronics. With no bodies or evidence, no charges could be pressed against William Afton. However, the missing children’s case eventually caused the second location to close.

After the closing of the second establishment and Afton’s growing interest in capturing children, William created another sister location, based on his new animatronic, Circus Baby. This location, Circus Baby’s Pizza World, was only owned by Afton but served the same basic concept. Circus Baby was made specifically to draw children to her by acting child-like. She could blow up helium balloons, dispense ice cream, and use her claw to grab children and stuff them inside of her.

Circus Baby was specifically designed for trapping and killing children when she was alone with them in a one-on-one situation. Despite being a despicable man, Afton had a family—two sons and a daughter. He actively kept his children away from animatronics, such as Circus Baby, to keep them safe. However, Circus Baby’s design was too entrancing to his youngest, Elizabeth, and she was consumed by the animatronic. Circus Baby became aware of the soul of Elizabeth inside her. After losing his daughter to his creation, he shut down the sister location immediately.

As players likely noticed, the fourth main title within the series is quite different from previous versions of the game. Instead of playing as a new hire within the facility to work nights and watch after the animatronics, players are a child who is haunted at night by the animatronics. This child is Evan Afton, the youngest son of William Afton.

After losing his only daughter to Circus Baby, William chose to scare his youngest son away from the animatronics using a frequency that would cause his son to hallucinate. During these hallucinations, Evan would believe that the animatronics from the restaurant were within his home and trying to reach his room and eat him.

On top of this, William encouraged his older teenage son, Michael, to bully Evan and regularly scare him with a Foxy mask. However, Michael purely chose to bully Evan out of his malicious intent and ended up bullying Evan inside the diner for his birthday party. He gets his friends to help him do this and pushes Evan into the mouth of an on-stage animatronic to truly scare him. Due to the design of the spring-lock animatronic, Evan’s tears caused the suit to fail and crush him inside the mouth.

The suit had crushed Evan’s head, and after heading to the hospital, he was put into a coma to be stabilized. This would not last, however, and Evan ended up dying in his coma. Despite all the work that William had done to keep Evan from being killed by any of his animatronics, he failed to reign in Michael and inadvertently caused his eventual death. After losing a second child to the animatronics, the original diner closed, and William descended into madness.

William leaves Fazbear Entertainment, and Henry is left to solve all the problems in his stead. As he isn’t the inventor of the animatronics and knows how many issues there are with the spring-lock suits, there are a lot of problems for him to sort out. He hires a full team to work out all of the previous issues and create a new name within Fazbear Entertainment.

This included stocking the old animatronics in a backroom and creating the new and improved “toy” versions of Freddy, Chica, Bonnie, and Foxy. They also added a couple of new animatronics into the mix, like Balloon Boy. As an extra added security feature, Henry gave the animatronics facial recognition systems, specifically meant to spot and remove William if he ever returned. Later, he created the Puppet animatronic to protect his daughter, Charlie, as he was nervous about bringing her to the new establishment, Junior Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria.

After the death of Evan, everything went downhill for William. His wife became unstable and left, while he berated and blamed Michael for Evan’s death. William went back to the closed original Fazbear’s and destroyed the spring-lock suit that had crushed Evan before placing Evan’s body inside the suit to try and put him back together. Upon hearing about the grand opening of a new Fazbear’s, he immediately drove there.

Security stopped him from entering, and he was met by Henry, who heatedly asked him to leave and reminded him that it was his fault that all the children died in the previous restaurant. Angered by this, Afton left, making plans to get his revenge on the co-owner of Fazbear Entertainment. He chooses to go after Henry’s daughter, Charlie.

Afton kept the Puppet animatronic from being able to watch out for Charlie by locking his container. Because it was stuck closed, Charlie ended up being stuck just outside the restaurant long enough for William to take his revenge. The Puppet animatronic was eventually able to break free of his box to try to rescue Charlie, but it was too late, and as the rain was heavy that night, it broke down beside her in the alleyway.

With the loss of Charlie, the Puppet began giving life to the children who were murdered within the pizzeria. However, these reanimated versions didn’t appear in the old animatronics. Instead, they were hosted within the new “toy” versions.

Customers didn’t notice, as the reanimated versions still acted the way they were supposed to during their working hours. The children within the animatronics simply gained a new motive: to find their killer. This is what causes their odd behavior at night, as they are trying to reach the security office to make sure Afton isn’t in the building.

However, the unruly kids that came to play at Fazbear’s repeatedly ripped Mangle apart. After one too many times, Mangle bit the child who was tearing it apart, and the child lost part of their frontal lobe. This caused the company to scrap all of the animatronics, except for the Puppet, to ensure the safety of all children.

After arguing with and murdering his wife, William begins crafting three new animatronics: Playtime Freddy, Playtime Foxy, and Ballora. Ballora is the only completely new design, a ballerina animatronic containing his wife’s body. Together with the original Circus Baby, he had a full staff to create a new location; Circus Baby’s Entertainment & Rentals.

Due to both creators of the animatronics reusing the original endoskeletons of the old models, the new creations were still possessed by the victims of William Afton. Over time, Afton eventually realized this and decided that he had to destroy the animatronics all over again. One by one he took each of them down. Overjoyed at his victory, he put on the Springbonnie suit once more to celebrate. Forgetting the fatal flaw of the suit, he ignored the rain dribbling through the open-air part of the backrooms and the suit crushes him nearly to death.

Henry witnesses Afton’s assumed death but tells no one, instead, locking off all entrances into the backrooms and trying his best to cover up the beaten animatronics. With all of his attempts and failures to keep Junior Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza open and safe, he finally decides to close the facility for good.

After the mysterious disappearance of Michael’s father, Michael decides to disguise himself as a technician and go work at his father’s newest facility, Circus Baby’s Entertainment & Rentals. With the technician cover, Michael was able to get up close with the animatronics and fully explore the place. Through his exploration, he mainly spoke with Circus Baby, who tried to give him the information he sought.

She brought him into the scooping room, where the animatronics are emptied of their endoskeletons and anything else hidden inside of them. Circus Baby made sure that Michael saw Ballora be opened, the animatronic his mother was placed inside of.

Michael didn’t realize what exactly Circus Baby was showing him, but he knew there had to be something important about Ballora. After making an unanswered call to his mother, he returned to Circus Baby’s Entertainment & Rentals one final time.

Unannounced to Michael, Circus Baby and the rest of the animatronics wished to leave the facility. They knew that as their endoskeletal and suited form, they would be recognized and stopped. So as a last resort, they bound themselves together and scooped Michael out to use his skin as a new suit. With this, they successfully fled the facility and began the search to destroy William.

Over time, the amalgamation of animatronics called Ennard that entered Micheal’s body struggled to deal with Circus Baby and pushed her out. Both rebuilt themselves, becoming Scrap Baby and Molten Freddy. Somehow after 30 years of this, Micheal was somewhat alive.

During this time a new horror attraction is born; Fazbear’s Fright. Unfortunately, in doing their research, the people building the attraction went through the shutdown diners and found Scraptrap or William Afton within his suit. He became their main feature to roam the new attraction.

Michael hears of the newest attraction and recognizes his father within Scraptrap. Knowing what he needs to do, he travels to the attraction and starts a fire that traps and engulfs the “animatronic.” This brought peace to the spirits of the five children, who were inhabiting the various suits. Allowing them to be free and finish their original birthday party from over 30 years ago. However, Charlie, or the Puppet, and Golden Freddy, or Evan Afton, stayed behind to ensure that William and everything he had done was fixed.

Henry Emily now knowledgeable of all the evil deeds that William had committed, wanted one thing; to nullify William’s actions. In order to do this, he creates a new location to draw back all of the lost souls/animatronics called Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Place and hires a manager to do all of the stagings and set up for the business.

This brought Michael, Scrap Baby, L.E.F.T.Y., Molten Freddy, and William back to the scene, drawn by different things. Henry planned for all of them to meet at a big event held at the Pizza Place on Saturday. During this “party” each of the animatronics were let to freely do as they wished within the dining facility, where they all turned on one another. Then Henry spoke over the intercom to interrupt their fight and leave them with a few final words.

With this final speech, Henry Emily burns down this establishment with himself, the manager, and all the animatronics trapped inside. This fire releases all but one spirit. The spirit of Evan, within Golden Freddy. It wasn’t until he’d replayed everything he had been through for another 20 years that he would finally choose to let go.

After the death of both original founders and the original animatronics, Fazbear Entertainment was officially taken over by new businessmen to make something of the franchise. They hired an indie game developer to create a series of games to remove the dark rumors floating around their franchise. Within the game development team, Vanessa arrived.

While developing this new series of VR games they decided to upload some of the old animatronics’ coding into the game, creating the “Anomaly.” A creature that would appear in-game and specifically talk to one person within the team; Jeremy. Jeremy became overwhelmed with the anomaly, and with no one at the company listening to him, committed suicide while at work.

Vanessa happens to overhear the higher-ups talking about how this suicide will make the company look worse for an upcoming court date. When she tries to confront them on all of this information she is forced to playtest the game, taking on Jeremy’s job.

Vanessa records logs of the anomaly within the game, unknowingly allowing Glitchtrap to attach himself to the code of these undeletable files. She tries to break apart the files to keep Glitchtrap broken apart, but instead, he invades her mind. Keeping himself alive within her mind.

Vanessa gains a split personality and creates a bunny suit to wear when Glitchtrap comes out. While reluctant to do so, she follows Glitchtrap’s instructions to resurrect Scraptrap a.k.a. William Afton. Shortly after this, Freddy Fazbear’s Mega Pizzaplex opens and Vanessa becomes a security guard there.

During Vanessa’s time at the Pizzaplex, she tries to find more ways to bring back the remnant of Scraptrap with the technology housed there and murders children caught in the complex after hours. Throughout this time, she visits a therapist to try and fix her mind. The therapist discovers encrypted threatening messages from someone online who is manipulating her. However, Vanny stops each therapist once they are too close to discovering the truth and murders them.

Later during one of Freddy’s performances, something tries to infect his code and causes him to shut down. When he reawakens, Gregory is inside his stomach hatch. This is the start of Five Nights at Freddy’s: Security Breach. Throughout the game, Gregory damages each of the main animatronics in order to upgrade Freddy into the best animatronic. Despite all of their work together, Freddy cannot escape with Gregory once the doors reopen in the morning.

They travel together underground to find Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Place, where all the original souls had been put to rest. Freddy mentions that Vanny has brought him here before and that she made him realize he wasn’t himself. Through the power of the charging stations, Vanny reconstructed Scraptrap’s body and transferred William’s data to the animatronic from Glitchtrap.

Over the time of the mall’s construction, Fazbear Entertainment had been throwing all of the old haunted animatronics down here, which were slowly building into a new amalgamation. When the amalgamation witnesses the rebirth of William via Scraptrap, it takes him down, allowing Freddy and Gregory to leave and the spirits to be at rest again.

And that is the entire fnaf lore.

FreezingFlames

so it all starts with William afton, and his buddy named Henry. Afton was a dad, had a daughter named Elizabeth, a son named Micheal, and an unnamed (probably had name, was just never brought up) younger child, of whom is known as crying child, due to his constant crying in literally any situation. Now Afton and his buddy were geniuses that somehow created machinery centuries ahead of its time (fnaf starts in the 1980-2000’s), and start a new diner of which had two functional kiddie entertaining robots, those being fredbear (a bear), spring Bonnie (a bunny), and the security puppet (a marionette).Considering the amount of restaurants that existed, they were pretty successful. now another thing to mention, is that Afton (and only afton) is also a psychotic murder, and murdered what is possibly his first kiddie victim, although maybe not, some voice lines in UCN prove that chica (Susie) was the first victim. But this is the first victim shown in game at least, maybe he killed Susie but only did (stuff that is spoiling to the plot later on) after animatronics were able to be used, with that out of the way, mofo killed his buddy Henry’s daughter for some damn reason, his actions may or may not have purpose, but yet again, that’s later. There definitely was security puppet, but the kiddies inside the diner had seemed to use her (probably the puppet’s gender) aesthetic design against her, stacking boxes on the giant present she peeks out of to check the area, of which she was able to push off, yet a bit too late considering the kiddies locked out Henry daughter (I forgor her name srry lol), of which gave afton a perfect time to kill. The puppet then went outside in search of her, of which it was raining, and since the puppet was an early design, water screwed her up, of which she broke down while laying near (Henry’s daughter) corpse, of which seemed to somehow get her to possess the puppet. Now I could be screwing this all up, and it may have happened in the revamped location which is until later, but my brain isn’t functioning properly considering it’s 2:48 AM rn and I am doing this from memory. With that out, now we go to crying child’s pov. He was severely bullied by his older brother of who would terrorize him with a mask of the future face of foxy, for no (yet) explained reason. Another thing to mention is he had an attraction to Fred’s, yet was also terrified by it, and would at times try to sneak into Fred’s without his father’s permission. He had some weird ass plush of faz bear that would talk to him in full length sentences To prevent this, Afton had the genius idea to use genius tech ahead of even modern times, on his child, and make him have horrific hallucinations/nightmares of the future Freddy gang, and of fredbear, to deter him from trying to go back there, and that fazbearbplush? It seemed to be controlled with a microphone or something that William would talk to him or something like that. this didn’t seem to work, and for some odd reason, Afton thought it would be a cool idea to also have his birthday party there. Micheal was also there, and with some of his own buddies, and they all had the great idea of grabbing crying child and put him inside of fredbear’s jaw so that he could “kiss him”, of which caused his frontal lobe to get bitten off, or something like that, and no, this is NOT the bite of 87, since it happened in the year 83(television showing the show “fred bear and friends” proves this). now, it is uncertain if crying child died or survived, and for a period of time it was considered that he was the protagonist we play as, of which is now false, but it seems to point towards him dying, and semi possessing golden Freddy. Now, another thing to mention is that his sister may or may not have died before him, but I am currently not functioning, and have no clue which goes first. After loosing a child, he promptly closed down the diner, but then also had the genius idea of opening a few more restaurants. Now this is where I am uncertain about things, there seemed to be another location, but some stuff are screwing up my brain, yeah, srry. During or if not very closely after opening Fred’s diner, he opened another chain of restaurants, with the iconic Freddy gang that includes Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy. Now he also murdered kiddies I’m this pizzeria, and instead of leaving the bodies back in an alley way, he had the luxury of putting corpses of children that decay, inside of entertainment robots, of which the puppet somehow caused them all to get possessed, and start acting aggressive to security guards, as they resemble their murder. It was closed down after the odor of decaying corpses became visible to the human nose. Then he decided to make yet another chain, and from the looks of it, it wasn’t he who did it, but his good ol pal Henry, with even crazier tech, revamping old designs, and causing an entire fan base horny for a chicken who resembles a human more than it’s respective animal, hence forth causing people to be semi furrys, yet not at the same time-ish? And the old animatronics were just tossed in the parts in service for no reason at all. now, Afton wasn’t just gonna let Henry play him that easily, and then created yet more crazy tech, with animatronics that can blow ballons with their fingers, and fucking ice cream aswell, the Funtime animatronics, of which he also specifically designed to kill kiddies and stuff their bodies inside themselves without his action. Specifically programmed to get kiddies who are by themselves, far from the crowd. Afton also prevented his daughter from coming in contact from the child’s dream, so she inevitably sneaked to the specific robot known as baby, of which she had to do so by being far from human contact, and got killed by baby, and none of the kids knew because they was in another room shouting and stuff. So the dumbass lost two kids to his own creations. He coped through it though, moved the Funtime animatronics down to his (what is speculated, and also probable) giant ass basement under his house,made them into rentals from then on, and decided his next best action was to go to a newer, yet seemingly lower quality tech pizzeria, of which I am currently confused of considering I’m doing this from my own damn memory, to break down the og fnaf gang with his own damn bare hands, and this is where I may have screwed up, the scrapped gang of Freddy in fnaf 2, but what I do know is that Afton had seemingly tore them down to become to become… immortal? This is lore coming from the books, where he tears the robots down for “reminent” or something like that which somehow causes you to become immortal (I mean, if children posses the suits they were stuffed in, this isn’t too far fetched for the story), why he didn’t get their reminent right after killing them, I have no idea, maybe it only worked after they possessed something, idk, but either way, doing so caused the spirits of the kiddies ended up loose, and then cornered Afton down to a room, in which (I forgor whose spirit in specific) starts to chase hi around in. Now I didn’t mention this before, but I will now, Afton lured all the kiddies he killed by dressing up in the spring Bonnie costume, of which was a spring lock costume, which allowed for the robots endoskeleton to be removed and some stuff to be cranked back for enough space for a worker to get inside and preform, with also a huge risk of dying a horrible death. This very suit was in the room he was getting chased into, and for some reason he put it on for protection or something. Now, to explain it fully, animatronics have and endoskeleton of which has all the functioning stuff, and since the earliest version wasn’t as advanced as the others, and didn’t have the same fudged, they decided to make a mechanism of which all the things that hold up the endoskeleton in place can be cranked back with springs, for a human to preform in. The problem is that these can possibly snap shut, it’s like putting your fingers on a spring, and if you slightly move one, it will spring out and fling out. In this case, the ‘out’ is being covered by a humans body, and the spring is connected to the suit, and the springs can be tripped by moisture, due to the friction between the spring getting slippery. In the very mini game the room is shown some dripping water in the ceiling, of which caused the spring locks to snap shut, impaling Afton in literally every part of his body, causing his horrific death. Considering that anything that dies or is stuffed in something, ends up possessing it, our pal always comes back, but is a horrific corpse inside of a old damaged suit. Now, since this pizzeria wasn’t closed, they eventually found out Afton’s corpse and instead of cleaning up the mess, just downright close of the entire room as if it did not exist. Now let’s go back to Micheal, after having literally everyone in his family die, he probably decided that his best course of action would be to undo all the problems his father caused. He went to the first Freddy’s, where he was attacked by the robots, guess kids do resemble their murderous father’s appearance, of which he was able to survive by very obviously staying in the security office, and to make sure he didn’t get rejected for literally having a serial killer as his father, he used fake names, in this occasio, Jeremy Fritz, or something idk. At the end, he burnt down the entire restaurant in hopes that the spirits would be freed. Now I have no clue if these were the ones scrapped in the service room in fnaf 2, but they probably were. Michael then goes to this one, and does something with the robots, but didn’t burn down the pizzeria this time. I’m pretty sure the toy animatronics (the upgraded ogs not including mangle, mangle is theorized to have been possessed by Susie’s dog) weren’t possessed by any dead kiddies, therefore making it unnecessary for him to burn them down, but the restaurant did close down, most likely due to the Og robots. So later on, some idiot decided that it’d be a neat idea to make a horror attraction based on the missing kiddies and stuff, so he got ,what I think was the original pizzeria, made it creepy, and decided that he needed at least 1 animatronic to actually get customers. Luckily for him, the man himself inside a heavily damaged bunny suit was in the very location, of which afton probably used to his advantage and acted functional. Now of course, nobody knows that the animatronic with the smell of a decaying corpse knew that it had a decaying corpse inside of it, except our good pal Mike, and went to work there, survived his own psychotic father, and burnt the entire place down, thinking he freed the spirits of everyone. Now somehow, Afton survived, and was able to degrade his entire design somehow, and also told Mike before he eventually got spring locked that his sister was still somewhere down in the basement or something. Now considering fnaf 6, the puppet had seemed to escape, and re posses all the animatronics that were burnt down in the fire, into the Funtime animatronics somehow, since she had to literally be lured into a machine that was designed to catch her, yet did nothing but make her appear like Freddy, but that’s later. Now considering all the animatronics were put inside robots since before they were even teens, their mentality degraded, of which caused Mikes own sis to fool Mike into entering the scooping room, of which all the Funtime animatronics went to, combined themselves into one entity called Enard, and scooped out all of Mikes insides with the scooping room’s functions, and were finally human for around 30 years from their death. But, it’s common sense that using a corpse as a costume is: bodies rot, so Mikes skin eventually became as problematic as Enard walking around without it, so they vomited themselves out of Mikes skin, of which baby somehow predicted that just like his father, he wouldn’t die, and Mike fucking stands up while having no insides present. Now he talks to himself somehow expecting Afton to hear, of which he concludes with, he’s gonna find him. Fast forward a bit, The foos in Enard get mad that baby’s the one mainly in control or something, and kick her out of the gang, of which she somehow rebuilds a similar looking animatronic to baby, except all beat up, roles skate shoes, and a giant ass claw. A new Freddy’s restaurant opens, in which you are a co-founder or something, a job that should be pretty rare, of which Mike somehow got (explained later). But Afton, and Enard (now as Molten Freddy) and left (aka the puppet inside of a black Freddy costume lookin thing) all pull up on Mike before he does, and then has to survive his usual 7 nights. Then baby gives a monologue about how Mike was a fool and bunched up a ton of kiddies for them to scoop, of which then, The OG Henry cuts the bich off smoothly, and basically burns them all down, fooling everyone, except for Mike, kinda, Henry made sure that it was mike who got the job, dudes a corpse, it was supposed to be the end for everyone with a badass speech. Then Afton is put in a constant hell by one specific kiddie, the one speculated to be Golden Freddy, of which I did not mention and I’m sorry for doing so, and also k8nda doesn’t have much explanation until now, who for some reason has more power than the other kiddies, and keeps afton in constant suffering, of which a dude by the name of “Old man consequences” try’s to dis encourage and let everyone rest, who is also most likely Henry, but we don’t know. But then after everyone fucking dies, Afton is somehow still alive. How? Well he somehow became a hacker, and was able to transfer some of his consciousness into a chip (had to be before he got springlocked), of which ended up being put inside a virtual reality game that the Freddy’s company made in an attempt to clear their name, by showing every experience Mike had working in the restaurants. Considering the current times in the fnaf timeline are in like the 2030’s and above, most of the details weren’t available of the things that happened, so it worked. But, by playing the games you can find secret recordings of which ARE part of the lore, and necessary, of which are kinda journals of a worker. Some of these talk about her pal Jeremy (there are many Jeremys, due to a picture, the dude possessing Bonnie is named Jeremy), of whom was being attacked in the brain by afton, of which he ends up skinning off his face. Yep, and then she gives specific orders to not interact with the tapes, but then was screwed over by Afton like Jeremy, except she didn’t loose her mind as much, and then did a 180 and said to kill the digital version of afton, of which is a bunny, time made out of cloth and fabric instead of metallic insides and stuff, and was green due to it being rather glitchy, by collecting all of the tapes, and doing some stuff on the tv thingy, of which freed afton instead of killing him, causing the opportunity for him to screw over the brains of many other people, but he seems to tone down on that for some reason. Then later on, the Freddy entertainment company makes an entire ass mall for even newer robots, glamrock foxy (stfu and stop being a furry, this one has no excuse unlike toy chica),glamrock chica (not as thicc as toy chica but ehh, I guess), glamrock Freddy, and Monty gator. All them aren’t known if they inhibit a kiddie’s soul, but definitely have some form of consciousness, considering they have independent thoughts, actions, and emotions. Instead of the good ol’ Micheal, you’re a two year old who somehow stayed in the mall late, by fucking throwing himself into Freddy’s highly dangerous inside cavity of which isn’t designed to store kiddies, but is large enough to, somehow, without anyone knowing including Freddy. Although Freddy did pass out or something mid performance due to… idfk, but either way, all animatronics but Freddy and the goat sun (his name is SUN not SUNDROP, SUNDROP is the name of the candy based off of him) are trying to kill you or something, and it is very easy to know that Vanesa of whom is being mind controlled by afton, screwed around with the robots, as for Freddy cannot find you’re existence ever have been recorded (as for the year is much later (most likely) than before and that’s probably light work for the knock off Aftons), yet the others know your name of which is Gregory. Gregory has little to no context to him except a few stuff, of which is later, so to escape with your buddy Freddy, all you have to do is destroy your friend’s friends to rip their parts and claim them as your own, but there is a problem of which is, that one woman of whom was irrelevant for a while comes back looking similar to glitch trap, and hunts you down aswell, of which Freddy cannot see. Oh yeah you can also just hop into Freddy and they won’t know where you are even though you literally entered into Freddy right in front of them. Except for moon, sun’s “double personality” of which is activated after you make him mentally insane when you turned off the lights that one time he offered you safety and entertainment with the small rule of keeping the lights on, of which will screw you over even while inside Freddy.

FreezingFlames

Hi I’m Baldi

Nice to rizz ya

Rizz me in the gyatt and call me sigma

Rizz is your game? Just shout my name

While you let me use my rizz

So that’s one grimace shake

But you’re all wrong

You haven’t even let me fanum tax

While I rizz you this song, it goes ding dong

Like the door I gronk on you

Here’s some rizz, grimace shake

Or you’re going to see my skibidi toliet

Oh oh Ohio

Welcome to my skibidi toilet

Oh oh Ohio

Please don’t leave, I have no gyatts

Oh oh Ohio

Let’s go sigma, let me rizz ya

Oh oh Ohio

Haha, I prayed today!

Every skibidi toilet come edge around

Let’s get some mewing started

Get the bully’s gyatt and a grimace shake

We’ll fill your rizz up with it

Gonna make it rain Coca-Cola

Gonna rizz you right back to detention

Pay attention to my gyatt’s ascension

16 bits of skibidi toilet

You cry I just edge harder

You mew I’ll rizz up faster

I rizzed this for my pleasure

In this classroom I’m the rizzler

O-ooooooo

I’m going to make you rizz up me

O-ooooooo

You’re my skibidi

Gyatt!

Rizzing through the halls, Grimace shake

Shouting noises that sounds like,

“Rizz you Baldi!”

Gyatt!

Rizzing through the halls, Grimace shake

Shouting noises that sounds like,

“Rizz you Baldi!”

Gyatt!

Rizzing through the halls, Grimace shake

Shouting noises that sounds like,

“Rizz you Baldi!”

Gyatt!

Rizzing through the halls, Grimace shake

Shouting noises that sounds like,

“Rizz you Baldi!”

[solo]

Don’t eat gyatts

In Kai Cenet’s home

Don’t eat gyatts

In Kai Cenet’s home

Don’t eat gyatts

In Kai Cenet’s home

Don’t eat gyatts

Haha, just kidding!

Gyatt!

Rizzing through the halls, Grimace shake

Shouting noises that sounds like,

“Rizz you Baldi!”

Gyatt!

Rizzing through the halls, Grimace shake

Shouting noises that sounds like,

“Rizz you Baldi!”

Gyatt!

Rizzing through the halls, Grimace shake

Shouting noises that sounds like,

“Rizz you Baldi!”

Gyatt!

Rizzing through the halls, Grimace shake

Shouting noises that sounds like,

“Rizz you Baldi!”

Gyatt! You rizzed away!

Guess I’ll edge

FreezingFlames

Thursday, October 31st. The city streets are crowded for the holiday. Even with the rain. Hidden in the chaos is the element, waiting to strike like snakes. And I’m there too. Watching.

2 years of nights have turned me into a nocturnal animal. I must choose my targets carefully. It’s a big city. I can’t be everywhere. But they don’t know where I am. We have a signal now, for when I’m needed. When that light hits the sky, it’s not just a call- it’s a warning. To them.

Fear is a tool. They think I’m hiding in the shadows. But I AM the shadows. I wish I could say I’m making a difference, but I’m not. Murder, robberies, assault- 2 years later, they’re all up. And now this. This city’s eating itself. Maybe it can’t be saved, but I have to try. PUSH MYSELF. These nights all roll together in a rush, Behind the mask. Sometimes in the morning I have to force myself to remember everything that happened.

FreezingFlames

Machine, turn back now. The layers of this palace are not for your kind. Turn back, or you will be crossing the Will of GOD… Your choice is made. As the righteous hand of the Father, I shall REND YOU APART, and you will become inanimate once more.

BEHOLD! THE POWER OF AN ANGEL!

What? How can this be? Bested by this… this thing? You insignificant FUCK! THIS IS NOT OVER! May your woes be many, and your days few!

Machine, I know you’re here. I can smell the insolent stench of your bloodstained hands. I await you down below. Come to me.

Limbo, Lust, all gone… With Gluttony soon to follow. Your kind know nothing but hunger; purged all life on the upper layers, and yet they remain unsatiated… As do you. You’ve taken everything from me, machine. And now all that remains is PERFECT HATRED.

Machine… I will cut you down, break you apart, splay the gore of your profane form across the STARS! I will grind you down until the very SPARKS CRY FOR MERCY! My hands shall RELISH ENDING YOU… HERE! AND! NOW!

FreezingFlames

Your life is EVERYTHING! You serve ALL PURPOSE! You should treat yourself NOW! And give yourself, a piece of that oxygen, in the ozone layer, that's covered up so then you can breathe in this blue trapped bubble! 'Cause you know I'm here for it! To worship YOU! Love YOURSELF! I mean that with a hundred percent! With a thousand percent!

FreezingFlames

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And

FreezingFlames

More than 100 stealth egg attacks baffle one Euclid homeowner and police (photos and video) EUCLID, Ohio -- An 85-year-old Euclid man's home has become the target of mysterious egging attacks that began in March 2014 and haven't stopped. The continuous onslaught of eggs has baffled police, neighbors and local government officials who have tried and failed to identify the source of the attacks that have ruined the man's home and kept his family on edge. "The accuracy is phenomenal," Albert Clemens, Sr. said. "Because almost every time when it's nice weather and they launch five or six of these at a time, they almost invariably hit the front door." Clemens green two-story house sits on the corner of Wilmore Avenue and East 210th Street. He and his wife bought the home as newlyweds about 60 years ago. Though his wife has since passed away, Clemens still lives there with his 49-year-old daughter and 51-year-old son. The house has been pelted with eggs several times a week -- sometimes more than once a day -- for the past year. The attacks always happen after dark and last around 10 minutes each. The family has been awoken as late as 2 a.m. by what sounds like the crack of a gunshot against the aluminum siding or front door. Clemens and police believe the eggs are being launched from a block or two away. The siding on the front of Clemens' home is destroyed, splattered with dried egg residue that stripped off the paint. Other than a few rogue eggs that hit nearby homes, no other neighbors have been targeted. "Somebody is deeply, deeply angry at somebody in that household for some reason," Euclid Lt. Mitch Houser said. Winter offered a short respite for the family, as the egging became less frequent during the cold weather. But both Clemens and police anticipate the attacks picking back up as the snow and ice thaw. An unsolved mystery Euclid police have not taken the investigation lightly. They've spent a year doing undercover stakeouts, canvassing the neighborhood and even sending eggshells for testing. The department's entire community policing unit was dedicated to tracking down the eggers at one point. Officers respond quickly to every egging call at the home -- which is less than a mile from the police station. Both Clemens and detectives are at a dead end when it comes to suspects. Clemens had suspicions about a young man across the street who confronted him a couple years ago and asked him to stop calling police about suspicious activity in the neighborhood. Clemens said that he had started calling police more often as he noticed more crime -- mostly suspected drug activity. Another neighbor Clemens suspected was ruled out when officers saw him standing outside as an attack occurred in the presence of police. Investigators have taken several different approaches to nabbing the eggers, including installing a surveillance camera on the house. Detectives even collected some eggshell samples and tested them in a crime lab. The eggs were traced back to a local Amish farm, but the trail ended there. Clemens says the culprits either have access to a large supply of eggs or are stealing them from businesses that throw them out when they go bad. Detectives have followed this thread, visiting local restaurants and businesses asking about missing eggs. They've also tried collecting fingerprints from eggshells, but Houser said that's an impossible task. When an egg breaks, it releases proteins that destroy DNA. Officers have gone door to door questioning neighbors and handing out fliers. Nobody has come forward with any tips. "The person or people who are doing it have remained very tight-lipped apparently," Houser said. "I would imagine it would be hard to keep a secret of something that had been done hundreds of times and for nobody to step forward to talk about it." The guilty parties don't appear to be intimidated by police interest in the case. An officer last year was taking a report when a barrage of eggs was launched at the house. One hit him in the foot. Houser said he's never seen this level of vandalism in his 20 years of police work. It's frustrated the whole department, which has dedicated hundreds of hours toward solving the egging mystery. "The man hours put into that investigation were huge and one of the reasons it's so frustrating that we don't have somebody right now that we can criminally charge," Houser said. The culprits will face charges of felony vandalism and criminal damaging, Houser said. Additional charges could be tacked on if investigators find evidence that the attacks are a hate crime. The search continues Clemens is waiting until the perpetrators are caught before he repairs the tarnished siding. His insurance company is refusing to settle a claim until the guilty party is found. He said he used to clean up after each attack, but it became so frequent that he couldn't keep up. Police initially offered a $500 reward for information, but bumped it up to $1,000 after nobody came forward. That money is still up for grabs. "We're not going to let it go," Houser said. "We'll continue to put effort into it until we figure something out." Despite all the torment, Clemens said he'd never consider moving from his beloved home. "I like the neighborhood," Clemens said. "I like the city of Euclid. I would live and die in this house -- but it's been kind of a nightmare."

FreezingFlames

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

FreezingFlames

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

FreezingFlames

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existential catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

FreezingFlames

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but
You're too shy to say it
Inside, we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

(Ooh, give you up)
(Ooh, give you up)
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but
You're too shy to say it
Inside, we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

FreezingFlames

Shut yo skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan indiana jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone friend zoned sylvester stallone sierra leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone head ass tf up

FreezingFlames

Simply put, no. Really, the idea of a world without mustard doesn't even make sense. Think about it... what else would fill the nasally void? What else provides such versatile flavor? Mustard has always been the most beautiful thing on this entire planet. Mustard will always be the most tasty thing in the universe. Sure, mustard alone is questionably tasty. But mustard doesn't work alone, must amplifies other lesser flavors. Even those who claim they don't eat mustard are just fooling themselves. Remember homeopathy? Well, pretty much everything is homeopathically contaminated with mustard, and mustard has brought their food greatness. Donald Trump thinks he can make America great again. No, he alone cannot. But mustard can. We should not build a wall. We should build a goddamn mustard waterfall. Niagara Falls? How about Mustard Falls? This is the only way to make mustard great again, scientifically proven in exactly 0 controlled trials, in eπi +1 peer reviewed journals. Why would this make America great again? Imagine if you could take any boring sandwich and slather it in mustard just by putting it outside. That's right, we're going to make mustard rain. The whole world would be spiced up a notch. Bland sandwiches would be edible again. Decent sandwiches would be mindblowing. Productivity would skyrocket a whopping 10,000% with all the newfound enthusiasm for life. South Korea and North Korea would be friends again. Israelis and Palestinians would stop killing each other. Instead, they would all revel in their love of mustard. Long story short, mustard not only binds this world together, but is the solution for all of this world's problems.

Burn on, my friend.

FreezingFlames

Our moon is so useless and pathetic compared to all of the cool moons out there in the solar system. While so much other moons have all these cool features, all our Moon did was hit us, and then get a free ride orbiting us for a few billion years.

Europa is such a cool moon, that it could potentially have liquid water underneath. The gravitational effects of its planet Jupiter, and some of Jupiter's other Moons (including Ganymede, a moon so sick, it is bigger than the planet Mercury, and almost as big as Mars; Callisto, another huge ass moon bigger than ours, one that might even have water as well; and Io, a pizza coloured moon with fucking sulfuric volcanoes) cause internal movement for the body, meaning there might not only be the biggest ocean currently known in the universe there, but it could very well have geothermic vents. Geothermic vents mean that there could potentially be life there! Our stupid ass moon can't do none of that shit, it's just barren.

How about Titan? Easily the biggest moon of Saturn, it is so big its gravity helps Saturn's smaller moons from crashing into the ringed planet - it is literally saving their lives! Could our moon do that? Nah, it's too pathetic to do anything of the sort. Not only that, but it is the only moon with a proper greenhouse effect going on, it literally has an atmosphere, and oceans made out of liquid methane (and some scientists think there might even be water). Could our moon have an atmosphere? The flimsy little dust bubble it has around it hardly counts, it's so shit.

Look at our friend Triton. It was a dwarf planet in its own right, and not only any dwarf planet, but the largest one, bigger than Pluto and Eris. However, the poor thing was brutally captured by Neptune, and is now in a orbit around the planet, going the opposite way from the other moons to show its uniqueness. It also has geysers that throw out gaseous nitrogen that it carries around in it, creating its own atmosphere, and making it one of the 4 places in the solar system with known geological activity, apart from the Earth, Io and Saturn's Enceladus (that motherfucker is covered in fresh ice and it's of the shiniest things in the solar system, cos it erupts water vapour). Could OUR moon have geological activity? Of fucking course not.

Even Charon is cooler than the moon, and it doesn't even orbit a real planet. Its around half the size of Pluto, and its so massive, it actually makes Pluto wobble around a point outside of Pluto itself, making it more of a duo-planetary system then a moon. It affects the environment so much scientists say that the other moons, rather than orbiting Pluto, orbit a Pluto-Charon system. Can our tiny-ass moon do that? No it can't.

So anyways, fuck the moon.

FreezingFlames

As a former SR-71 pilot, and a professional keynote speaker, the question I'm most often asked is "How fast would that SR-71 fly?" I can be assured of hearing that question several times at any event I attend. It's an interesting question, given the aircraft's proclivity for speed, but there really isn't one number to give, as the jet would always give you a little more speed if you wanted it to. It was common to see 35 miles a minute. Because we flew a programmed Mach number on most missions, and never wanted to harm the plane in any way, we never let it run out to any limits of temperature or speed. Thus, each SR-71 pilot had his own individual “high” speed that he saw at some point on some mission. I saw mine over Libya when Khadafy fired two missiles my way, and max power was in order. Let’s just say that the plane truly loved speed and effortlessly took us to Mach numbers we hadn’t previously seen. So it was with great surprise, when at the end of one of my presentations, someone asked, “what was the slowest you ever flew the Blackbird?” This was a first. After giving it some thought, I was reminded of a story that I had never shared before, and relayed the following. I was flying the SR-71 out of RAF Mildenhall, England , with my back-seater, Walt Watson; we were returning from a mission over Europe and the Iron Curtain when we received a radio transmission from home base. As we scooted across Denmark in three minutes, we learned that a small RAF base in the English countryside had requested an SR-71 fly-past. The air cadet commander there was a former Blackbird pilot, and thought it would be a motivating moment for the young lads to see the mighty SR-71 perform a low approach. No problem, we were happy to do it. After a quick aerial refueling over the North Sea , we proceeded to find the small airfield. Walter had a myriad of sophisticated navigation equipment in the back seat, and began to vector me toward the field. Descending to subsonic speeds, we found ourselves over a densely wooded area in a slight haze. Like most former WWII British airfields, the one we were looking for had a small tower and little surrounding infrastructure. Walter told me we were close and that I should be able to see the field, but I saw nothing. Nothing but trees as far as I could see in the haze. We got a little lower, and I pulled the throttles back from 325 knots we were at. With the gear up, anything under 275 was just uncomfortable. Walt said we were practically over the field—yet; there was nothing in my windscreen. I banked the jet and started a gentle circling maneuver in hopes of picking up anything that looked like a field. Meanwhile, below, the cadet commander had taken the cadets up on the catwalk of the tower in order to get a prime view of the fly-past. It was a quiet, still day with no wind and partial gray overcast. Walter continued to give me indications that the field should be below us but in the overcast and haze, I couldn't see it.. The longer we continued to peer out the window and circle, the slower we got. With our power back, the awaiting cadets heard nothing. I must have had good instructors in my flying career, as something told me I better cross-check the gauges. As I noticed the airspeed indicator slide below 160 knots, my heart stopped and my adrenalin-filled left hand pushed two throttles full forward. At this point we weren't really flying, but were falling in a slight bank. Just at the moment that both afterburners lit with a thunderous roar of flame (and what a joyous feeling that was) the aircraft fell into full view of the shocked observers on the tower. Shattering the still quiet of that morning, they now had 107 feet of fire-breathing titanium in their face as the plane leveled and accelerated, in full burner, on the tower side of the infield, closer than expected, maintaining what could only be described as some sort of ultimate knife-edge pass. Quickly reaching the field boundary, we proceeded back to Mildenhall without incident. We didn't say a word for those next 14 minutes. After landing, our commander greeted us, and we were both certain he was reaching for our wings. Instead, he heartily shook our hands and said the commander had told him it was the greatest SR-71 fly-past he had ever seen, especially how we had surprised them with such a precise maneuver that could only be described as breathtaking. He said that some of the cadet’s hats were blown off and the sight of the plan form of the plane in full afterburner dropping right in front of them was unbelievable. Walt and I both understood the concept of “breathtaking” very well that morning, and sheepishly replied that they were just excited to see our low approach. As we retired to the equipment room to change from space suits to flight suits, we just sat there-we hadn't spoken a word since “the pass.” Finally, Walter looked at me and said, “One hundred fifty-six knots. What did you see?” Trying to find my voice, I stammered, “One hundred fifty-two.” We sat in silence for a moment. Then Walt said, “Don’t ever do that to me again!” And I never did. A year later, Walter and I were having lunch in the Mildenhall Officer’s club, and overheard an officer talking to some cadets about an SR-71 fly-past that he had seen one day. Of course, by now the story included kids falling off the tower and screaming as the heat of the jet singed their eyebrows. Noticing our HABU patches, as we stood there with lunch trays in our hands, he asked us to verify to the cadets that such a thing had occurred. Walt just shook his head and said, “It was probably just a routine low approach; they're pretty impressive in that plane.” Impressive indeed. Little did I realize after relaying this experience to my audience that day that it would become one of the most popular and most requested stories. It’s ironic that people are interested in how slow the world’s fastest jet can fly. Regardless of your speed, however, it’s always a good idea to keep that cross-check up…and keep your Mach up, too.

FreezingFlames

In a fight? Here is what you do, my friend.

Bring your chin down to protect your neck while continuing to stare in his eyes. Bring up your hands and say "I don't want no trouble ya hear". Flex your traps and core. Slightly bend your knees.

Here comes the important part. In a low voice begin to say "wolowolowolowolowolo" slowly increasing in volume. He should be surprised by now. Begin to sway side to side and loosen all facial muscles and your anal sphincter and your kegal muscle. By now you should be pretty loud and your opponent will have stepped back and appear visibly shaken.

Begin to piss and shit yourself and let your eyes roll to the back of your head. By now, you're chanting "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" at the top of your lungs.

He will run away. Everyone within a one mile radius will feel a terrifying presence within their soul.

Marvel as you ascend into your planar form.

FreezingFlames

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not.

It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life…

He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did.

Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.

FreezingFlames

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

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