So Basicly, (smol vent)
I do this thing where I joke around to mislead people if im bothered or sad, and if a friend of mine vents ill refrian from venting for a while so they get the attention they need. Anyways my stepdad keeps showing me affection and I want to cry because I dont know how to properly react to what he's doing. I get super uncomfortable. My mom cried and begged me to understand that she loved me a while bavk even though she does things to make me doubt her love I told her im sorry but i forgot what it felt like to feel loved and i dont believe it. She told me that she 'really fucking loves me' and she wanted me to 'fucking beleive her' I tried to laugh it off and just hold her while she cried. She can feel my love for her but I can't feel her love for me I cant feel anyones love for me its really hard to. Its like I know what their saying and i kind of know they love me but i doubt it or dont believe it. Its been like this since Christmas. I had a nightmare with both of my dads after finally getting a break from havingnightmares about the most important person to me He was in that dream too... I was really angry at my bio dad. He got mad at me for getting mad at him and he called me a bitch. Me and my stepdad spent the rest of the day together. I dont know why my bio dad was with my mom.. My stepdad took me and my best friend out and let us have our own fun. I had planned a sword duel with my bio dad. If I beat him hed give me presents and wed go out. I beat him and when we went out I introduced him to my best friend who wasn't my best friend in the dream as in more. He said he was proud of me and i was becoming a good young man He was glad i wasnt like him I hated the fact he was with my mom though. I woke up laughing and crying Also sometimes i get jealous
- Published June 29, 2020, 15:04
- in Kiddie Pool
- in Vents (gore possible warning)
- is not continuable by others
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