im so scared dude. i feel like such a bad person i have friends who are upset and i dont know how the fuck to help them--im so worried about them but i cant do anything and then there's just school--this shit is stressing me out. i dont understand anything cause the majority of the time im too sleep deprived to actually pay attention--and then on top of that, i wanna audition for our school concert choir but im too uncomfortable and i hate myself too much to do it. our teacher wont let us use music to sing along with so its just our pure voice, which is the one thing i cant fucking do literally at all. i hate hearing my voice cause it sucks-and then i get nervous and self-conscious about it and i start messing up. then--the one person in choir who i can actually fucking tolerate has auditioned already, so if he makes it through im gonna be left behind in the other choir full of all the stupid fucking freshman next school year i hate this i just---i at least want someone i know in choir with me. thats all. cause everyone else is an ass and im way more confident and lively when i have people i care about with me, but then all the people who would ever actually be interested in choir are already doing other stuff so they dont wanna be in choir ugh