fuuuuuuck why cant I fucking do my damn work, its SO DAMN SIMPLE but then I fucking work myself up and feel like shit and then I distract myself so I can just get my mind off of this shit and then my mom is pissed at me for blaming it on mental illness but I dont think I imply that it is based on mental illness and I just start hating it more and more and Its a constant cycle of this bs and I honestly hate myself for putting me through this and I dont know how to stop it and I know I need help but I dont want it for some reason and i just want to just punch my own face in