not looking forward to school
I got pre calculus and I suck at math. luckily my 2 other classes are mindless so hopefully that balances it out. debating on whether I want to quit my job or not. I've been working 6 days a week since for the past month. my schedule just got changed and I got one more day off but my manager forgot to tell him because we don't have online schedules so everythings in person and the guy covering my shift works one day a week so he had no chance to hear. but my manager called me in and said he "apparently" didn't know. fuck off dumbass. the guy apparently didn't show up on both the days i was called in for a "sleep study". right... dude is like 300 lbs. even if he is having sleep problems and needs to get them checked I think they're on an entirely different plane on your problem hierarchy. and from what I've gathered it seems like he doesn't even have another job. fucking dick. anyways, I've told my manager that I can only do weekends, despite him asking me to do 3 days a week. hate that guy. but honestly he NEEDS to hire another dishwasher. (btw the reason i was doing 6 days a week is cause one of the dishwashers got fired.) and honestly I might just tell my manager to hire another dishwasher and to fire me when he does. I don't care. I'm fortunately well off enough to handle going to school without working. I only got a job for 2 reasons: because I was tired of my family and needed to get away, and because I thought that it would look better on a resume if i worked during college. but honestly, I don't know why I pretended to care about that. I'm doing business. I have no plan. I don't even want to be here. I honestly feel guilty about my opportunities because they'd be better off with someone else. And also, I just don't want to work. I'm lazy. "you can get more hours during winter break!" I don't want to. I want to laze around and do fuck all for 2 weeks. i know. it's pathetic. especially because working 2-3 months a year kills me mentally and physically. which is again, pathetic. tired of people talking to me about college. also I'm used to my schedule now so getting used to school again is gonna suck along with having to work weekends (until I inevitably quit at least). yet at the end of the year I dread going back to work and vice versa for uni at the end of the summer. the grass is never greener. everytime I find change I hope it will make me happy or bring more comfort or satisfaction but it never comes; sometimes just gets worse. but yeah the social aspect of work is just as bad. trying to get through tight corridors with a shit ton of plates or giant cup racks. especially when the servers and hostesses up front are ticking time bombs emotionally.
