i haven't been in active in this website for AGES but i thought of stopping by and make a new years special drawing before 2024 hits for my timezone, along with an important message aside. first of all:: i MISSED being active both here and on toonator, albeit the latter has been wipped off for good but it was a good improvement stage for me to animate and all that. sadly when i got the animator rank there, i couldn't have enough time to even take the benefit to make more animations with music. but enough of that, the point is i made really good friends around here and i hope you guys are well! i was on discord and twitter this whole time and im even working on my own indie game now. its probably gonna take almost a decade to get it done but i'll eventually get done with it and my team will help me. if you wanna ask me about it, just be aware that im gonna go in SUCH AN autistic detail with it lol also my sona has gotten so many changes and so far he's a space cyborg! and his spacecraft name is just like my new screenname, roachroaver, although he prefers to go by arvy. as my game project, i might go in autistic detail about this sona too since he's gotten a pretty handful of lore. and to give a little irl update: i have a job now! and im trying my best to save up money and move to my close friend in us. and after new years, im planning to get irl therapy and get a diagnosis to get my mental health checked up since ive been through a lot of mental drain in the past. OK ENOUGH OF THAT. now for the ACTUAL important thing i wanna get off my chest since ive been thinking about it for a good while: i may have had very good memories from both drawn and toonator, but i have looked back to my own flaws back in my late teenhood and early adulthood. ive matured since then and im no longer as immature and naive, but i definitely should've known better in the past as i was old enough for it. many of the people ive seen there and here, especially my old friends, were struggling and have went through a lot. i apologize for being unprofessional and irresponsible in advance. i believe you guys deserved all the kindness, reassurence and safety, and i hope you've been well, taken care of yourselves well and recovered from any awful experiences you have dealt with. i've been overreactive towards many conflicts and not only that, without knowing, i'd draw odd things with hn, such as the expressions and all that, although none of that was in any sick intent, but even so it was something that it's good that ive moved on from (to specify, it was me trying to draw her sleepy or drunk, but for some reason ive drawn them weird) ive even said off things without realizing it, just to fit in with everyone in the community because i used to be awfully passive aggressive towards anyone who'd have a certain sense of humor, and most of them were younger folks and honestly i shouldve been much more responsible. even if none of that was my intention to harm and it was all just jokes (plus i wouldnt do anything else beyond them because i knew it was wrong), i still want to apologize in advance. either from my eras of toonator, drawn, instagram and discord. ever since i realized my flaws, ive been maturing and growing, i believe all of us have been. and wherever you guys are or if you still are active here, i hope you've been doing well this whole time. just remember you're worth it and hopefully 2024 will be so much better than what 2023 has brought us